As many of you know, I am taking a class here at UNC on Personality.

Psychological testing in the United States government has come under

One of the tests to determine personality in our book was so incredibly

fire from several congressional committees, who feel that asking job

useful and interesting, I just had to share it.

applicants a series of questions to gauge their personalities is an

invasion of privacy. The test that has come in for the most criticism is

Answer each of the following items "true" or "false"

the Minnesota multiphasic personality inventory, a 566 question true or

false quiz. As an answer to the MMPI, one of its critics has developed

the North Dakota null-hypothesis brain inventory, which the reader is

invited to take right now. Answer true or false:

%

21. I think beavers work too hard.

As many of you know, I am taking a class here at UNC on Personality.

22. I use shoe polish to excess

One of the tests to determine personality in our book was so incredibly

23. God is love.

useful and interesting, I just had to share it.

24. I like mannish children

25. I have always been disturbed by the size of Lincoln's ears.

Answer each of the following items "true" or "false"

26. I always let people get ahead of me at swimming pools.

27. Most of the time I go to sleep without saying good-by.

 1. I think beavers work too hard.

28. I am not afraid of picking up door knobs.

 2. I use shoe polish to excess.

29. I believe I smell as good as most people.

 3. God is love.

30. Frantic screams make me nervous.

 4. I like mannish children.

31. It's hard for me to say the right thing when I find myself in a room

 5. I have always been disturbed by the sight of Lincoln's ears.

 6. I always let people get ahead of me at swimming pools.

 7. Most of the time I go to sleep without saying goodbye.

 8. I am not afraid of picking up door knobs.

 9. I believe I smell as good as most people.

10. Frantic screams make me nervous.

11. It's hard for me to say the right thing when I find myself in a room

12. I would never tell my nickname in a crisis.

32. I would never tell my nickname in a crisis.

13. A wide necktie is a sign of disease.

33. A wide necktie is a sign of disease.

14. As a child I was deprived of licorice.

34. As a child I was deprived of licorice.

15. I would never shake hands with a gardener.

35. I would never shake hands with a gardener.

16. My eyes are always cold.

36. My eyes are always cold.

17. Cousins are not to be trusted.

18. When I look down from a high spot, I want to spit.

Now for the results. If you have answered more questions true than

19. I am never startled by a fish.

false, you should work for the labor department.

20. I have never gone to pieces over the weekend.

If you have answered more questions false than true, you should try for

the peace corps.

If you answered 18 true and 18 false, you should apply for work with the

Voice of America.

If you refused to answer some of the questions, you might work for the

White House.

If you held your hand over the questions while you answered them, you

should go into the federal bureau of investigation.

If you talk about this test to anybody else, then you could never get a

security clearance and you'd better stay where you are.

		-- Art Buchwald, 1965