Bug 35683

Hi,
On Fri, Mar 08, 2002 at 03:33:49PM -0500, Tom Rhodes wrote:

> -	to permanent mounts, as permanent mounts should be listed in the
> +	to permanent mounts, as permanent mounts are usually listed in the

one additional suggestion: Please use "are usually listed in
<filename>/etc/fstab</filename>", i.e. drop the word "the".

/s/Udo
-- 
>Every program evolves until it is capable of sending email.
Except Microsoft Exchange

I like your suggestion Udo, I killed the nitpick word "the" and
did a little more than just that.  This patch is a tad bit larger,
and I would either like some comments or a commit.  I did not like
the use of the word "access" 3 times in one sentence.  Here is a proposed
rewording of that sentence, natd section.

--
Tom Rhodes

diff -ru handbook/advanced-networking/chapter.sgml handbook.new/advanced-networking/chapter.sgml
--- handbook/advanced-networking/chapter.sgml	Thu Mar  7 18:55:11 2002
+++ handbook.new/advanced-networking/chapter.sgml	Sat Mar  9 11:37:19 2002
@@ -988,13 +988,13 @@
       <indexterm><primary>automatic mounter daemon</primary></indexterm>
 
       <para>&man.amd.8; (the automatic mounter daemon)
-	is a useful daemon that automatically mounts a
+	automatically mounts a
 	remote filesystem whenever a file or directory within that
 	filesystem is accessed.  Filesystems that are inactive for a
 	period of time will also be automatically unmounted by
 	<application>amd</application>.  Using
 	<application>amd</application> provides a simple alternative
-	to permanent mounts, as permanent mounts should be listed in the
+	to permanent mounts, as permanent mounts are usually listed in
         <filename>/etc/fstab</filename>.</para>
 
       <para><application>amd</application> operates by attaching
@@ -4796,7 +4796,7 @@
       <title>Setup</title>
       <para>Due to the diminishing IP space in IPv4, and the increased number
         of users on high-speed consumer lines such as cable or DSL, people are
-        in more and more need of an Internet Connection Sharing solution.  The
+        more in need of an Internet Connection Sharing solution.  The
         ability to connect several computers online through one connection and
         IP address makes &man.natd.8; a reasonable choice.</para>
 
@@ -4831,9 +4831,9 @@
 	</textobject>
       </mediaobject>
 
-      <para>With this setup, the machine without Internet access can use
-        the machine with access as a gateway to access the outside 
-        world.</para>
+      <para>With a setup such as this, a machine not connected to the
+        internet directly can still access the internet through
+        the <acronym>LAN</acronym>.</para>
     </sect2>
 
     <sect2 id="configuration">

Apologies to all that this is listed a ``serious'' pr.  I did not wish 
to do that, and was a slight mistake.  Instead of keeping this pr open, 
lets apply the patch (if no objections) and close this pr.  A new one 
will be opened afterwords ;)  Enjoy, and thanks!

-- 
Tom (Darklogik) Rhodes
www.Pittgoth.com Gothic Liberation Front
www.FreeBSD.org  The Power To Serve

Comment 4 Giorgos Keramidas 2002-03-21 00:09:35 UTC

On 2002-03-09 16:43:56, Tom Rhodes wrote:

>         <para>Due to the diminishing IP space in IPv4, and the increased number
>           of users on high-speed consumer lines such as cable or DSL, people are
>  -        in more and more need of an Internet Connection Sharing solution.  The
>  +        more in need of an Internet Connection Sharing solution.  The

`increasingly' in need?

Other than that, I feel my brain going numb when I try to find a clear way
to describe the 'gateway' hunk of this patch, without mentioning the word
'gateway'.  It still seems funny after the patch though :/

Giorgos Keramidas                       FreeBSD Documentation Project
keramida@{freebsd.org,ceid.upatras.gr}  http://www.FreeBSD.org/docproj/

On Wed, 20 Mar 2002 16:10:03 -0800 (PST)
Giorgos Keramidas <keramida@FreeBSD.ORG> wrote:

> The following reply was made to PR docs/35683; it has been noted by
> GNATS.
> 
> From: Giorgos Keramidas <keramida@freebsd.org>
> To: Tom Rhodes <darklogik@pittgoth.com>
> Cc: bug-followup@freebsd.org
> Subject: Re: docs/35683: Fix amd info
> Date: Thu, 21 Mar 2002 02:09:35 +0200 (EET)
> 
>  On 2002-03-09 16:43:56, Tom Rhodes wrote:
>  
>  >         <para>Due to the diminishing IP space in IPv4, and the
>  >         increased number  of users on high-speed consumer lines
>  >         such as cable or DSL, people are- in more and more
>  >         need of an Internet Connection Sharing solution. The+   
>  >             more in need of an Internet Connection Sharing
>  >             solution.  The
>  
>  `increasingly' in need?
>  
>  Other than that, I feel my brain going numb when I try to find a
>  clear way to describe the 'gateway' hunk of this patch, without
>  mentioning the word'gateway'.  It still seems funny after the patch
>  though :/
>  
>  Giorgos Keramidas                       FreeBSD Documentation
>  Project keramida@{freebsd.org,ceid.upatras.gr} 
>  http://www.FreeBSD.org/docproj/

Maybe...  perhaps...  we could always describe the gateway as ``the
door to the internet'' or doorway to the outside world...

I like your ``increasingly'' idea, but I do not see the use of
``gateway'' in this paragraph.  Here we are kinda opening up
the natd section and trying to create that vision of understanding
for our reader.  I'm totally open to suggestions here ;)

-- 
Tom (Darklogik) Rhodes
www.FreeBSD.org  -The Power To Serve
www.Pittgoth.com -Pittgoth Discussion Portal

Comment 6 Giorgos Keramidas 2002-03-22 06:30:40 UTC

State Changed
From-To: open->closed

Slightly modified version committed. 
Thanks for helping bring this in shape, both in mail and IRC.