When command(s) follow a sentence, i think the sentence may end with a ':',
as found in other part of the book (geom-mirror for example).
An other point is when a kernel module is loaded, the .ko extension may be
forgotten. We can see this in other documentation and the kldload(8) manual
Fix: Here is a little patch:
How-To-Repeat: Compare with the corresponding chapter:
>>> <para>The following command can be used to manually mount a newly
>>> - created disk stripe.</para>
>>> + created disk stripe:</para>
>> It's probably not worth changing, but I find "the following" to be
>> redundant in sentences that ends with ":".
>> In decreasing order of verbosity:
>> The following command can be used to manually mount a newly created
>> disk stripe.
>> This command can be used to manually mount a newly created disk stripe:
>> To manually mount a newly created disk stripe:
> This one may be better i think, since it is more concise.
>> And while opinions differ, IMO, it should be "newly-created".
> Don't have a preference about this one.
Ok. I reworked a little bit this one, trying to adapt it to what
was said. In the same time, try to avoid the repeated words like
"following" and "created".
Please find a new patch attached.
Could you provide the diff in a non-encoded format. It would just
make life easier. Thanks,
> Could you provide the diff in a non-encoded format. It would just
> make life easier. Thanks,
When using send-pr(1), i usually use the -a flag to automatically
attach a file. I don't known why the first patch was sent correctly,
but not the second reworked-one.
My last known patch on this subject can be downloaded at:
As a side note, i don't work on this (little, and not so important)
patch since 28/08/2005. I don't known -- and don't check -- if it
apply cleanly on the current chapter.sgml file.
trhodes 2006-10-19 03:31:14 UTC
FreeBSD doc repository
A few wording fix ups to the GEOM chapter.
Submitted by: "Julien Gabel" <email@example.com> (original submission)
Revision Changes Path
1.25 +18 -23 doc/en_US.ISO8859-1/books/handbook/geom/chapter.sgml
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You're right, patch did not apply. I manually merged and in
some minor cases reworded and then applied it to the chapter.
Thanks for the submission!
Over to me.