When command(s) follow a sentence, i think the sentence may end with a ':', as found in other part of the book (geom-mirror for example). An other point is when a kernel module is loaded, the .ko extension may be forgotten. We can see this in other documentation and the kldload(8) manual page. Fix: Here is a little patch: How-To-Repeat: Compare with the corresponding chapter: http://www.freebsd.org/doc/en_US.ISO8859-1/books/handbook/geom-striping.html
>>> <para>The following command can be used to manually mount a newly >>> - created disk stripe.</para> >>> + created disk stripe:</para> >> It's probably not worth changing, but I find "the following" to be >> redundant in sentences that ends with ":". > Agreed. >> In decreasing order of verbosity: >> >> The following command can be used to manually mount a newly created >> disk stripe. >> >> This command can be used to manually mount a newly created disk stripe: >> >> To manually mount a newly created disk stripe: > This one may be better i think, since it is more concise. >> And while opinions differ, IMO, it should be "newly-created". > Don't have a preference about this one. Ok. I reworked a little bit this one, trying to adapt it to what was said. In the same time, try to avoid the repeated words like "following" and "created". Please find a new patch attached. -- -jpeg.
Hi, Could you provide the diff in a non-encoded format. It would just make life easier. Thanks, -- Tom Rhodes
State Changed From-To: open->feedback Feedback requested.
Hello, > Could you provide the diff in a non-encoded format. It would just > make life easier. Thanks, When using send-pr(1), i usually use the -a flag to automatically attach a file. I don't known why the first patch was sent correctly, but not the second reworked-one. My last known patch on this subject can be downloaded at: - http://www.thilelli.net/~jgabel/store/pub/PR/85353/ As a side note, i don't work on this (little, and not so important) patch since 28/08/2005. I don't known -- and don't check -- if it apply cleanly on the current chapter.sgml file. Thank you, -- Julien Gabel.
trhodes 2006-10-19 03:31:14 UTC FreeBSD doc repository Modified files: en_US.ISO8859-1/books/handbook/geom chapter.sgml Log: A few wording fix ups to the GEOM chapter. PR: 85353 Submitted by: "Julien Gabel" <jpeg@thilelli.net> (original submission) Revision Changes Path 1.25 +18 -23 doc/en_US.ISO8859-1/books/handbook/geom/chapter.sgml _______________________________________________ cvs-all@freebsd.org mailing list http://lists.freebsd.org/mailman/listinfo/cvs-all To unsubscribe, send any mail to "cvs-all-unsubscribe@freebsd.org"
State Changed From-To: feedback->closed You're right, patch did not apply. I manually merged and in some minor cases reworded and then applied it to the chapter. Thanks for the submission!
Responsible Changed From-To: freebsd-doc->trhodes Over to me.