I believe the handbook is wrong in section 5.7.3, where it instructs readers to use the command `exec /usr/local/bin/startxfce4` in the file `~/.xsession`. That command doesn't work for me, whereas `exec /usr/local/bin/xfce4-session` does. I believe that would be the correct command to use.
Are you looking at the latest version of the Handbook? The latest version has instructions for both startx and XDM. The startx section says to add the command to .xinitrc. The XDM section adds it to .xsession. Both should also use the --with-ck-launch flag, I'll add that.
Yes. Sorry, I didn't explain myself properly. I'll rephrase. Section 5.7.3, as seen at https://www.freebsd.org/doc/en_US.ISO8859-1/books/handbook/x11-wm.html, has instructions for both startx and XDM, as you point out. What I mean is that the second of these two, the one about XDM, says to use `exec /usr/local/bin/startxfce4` in `~/.xsession`, and that didn't work for me. However, using `exec /usr/local/bin/xfce4-session` instead, in that same file, does the trick. Now, it might be it's not that the command is wrong, but that the argument is missing. That I cannot tell. As for the startx route, I haven't even tried (I'm going the XDM route), so I cannot tell.
Please test "exec /usr/local/bin/startxfce4 --with-ck-launch" in .xsession with XDM. If that still does not work, there might be other issues.
I stand corrected; your solution works. I must have done something wrong when I tried last night. Thank you,